The life and times of SARD

Holocaust · Post by **Holocaust** » 27 Aug 2009, 12:52

I pissed off my girlfriend today. I feel like an ass.

Teresa · Post by **Teresa** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:01

oooh boy what did you do?

Holocaust · Post by **Holocaust** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:08

I "smoke entirely too much marijuana" and I'm "unreliable". And apparently, my beard looks stupid.

But she's jealous, insecure, and a hippie. One that bathes.

Mr. P · Post by **Mr. P** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:09

^Sounds like a marriage to mee.

Holocaust · Post by **Holocaust** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:10

[quote name="Skinfection"]being single ist krieg

also, if she's a hippy you had better call her a hypocrite for telling you you smoke too much herb.[/quote]

She's under the horrible misconception that everyone should love and nurture each other but she's only smoked a few times, back in college (she's 46 mmmmmmmmilf).

Teresa · Post by **Teresa** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:11

being single ist totally not krieg.

meh, cut down on the weed and don't be a flake. not that hard.

Holocaust · Post by **Holocaust** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:12

Fuck that. It's not crack.

Teresa · Post by **Teresa** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:13

how old are you mr. lerzeig?

Holocaust · Post by **Holocaust** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:14

I'd like to put it in her butt one good time before we call it quits.

Teresa · Post by **Teresa** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:15

[quote name="Teresa"]how old are you mr. lerzeig?[/quote]

Holocaust · Post by **Holocaust** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:16

<----- A score and four years.

Teresa · Post by **Teresa** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:18

if she expects a 24 year-old pot head to be reliable and grounded or what have you, then i guess she is just silly. idk idk

Holocaust · Post by **Holocaust** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:22

I didn't call her enough, I guess.

Teresa · Post by **Teresa** » 27 Aug 2009, 13:23

that's no good. i guess you don't care for her all that much then eh?

zim · Post by **zim** » 27 Aug 2009, 15:09

[quote name="Lerzeig Redek"]I'd like to put it in her butt one good time before we call it quits.

[/quote]

[quote name="Skinfection"]speaking of, i packed myself a bowl before i even opened this thread[/quote]

this thread is full of awesome

i haven't smoked in so long..

methodrone · Post by **methodrone** » 27 Aug 2009, 15:32

sounds like she is mothering you instead being a girlfriend haha, mother id like to shut up

Holocaust · Post by **Holocaust** » 27 Aug 2009, 15:50

[quote name="hafsteinn"]sounds like she is mothering you instead being a girlfriend haha, mother id like to shut up[/quote]

Mother I have sex with.

zim · Post by **zim** » 27 Aug 2009, 16:17

does she have any kids? they could be older than you!

ANGEL OF DESEASE · Post by **ANGEL OF DESEASE** » 27 Aug 2009, 17:34

[quote name="Skinfection"]

if she's a hippy you had better call her a hypocrite for telling you you smoke too much herb.[/quote]

agreeance with the skinno one

baron von blondle · Post by **baron von blondle** » 27 Aug 2009, 18:16

[quote name="Lerzeig Redek"]...And apparently, my beard looks stupid.

[/quote]

that is one step too far. kill her and bury her in the yard.

Abzu · Post by **Abzu** » 27 Aug 2009, 20:18

[quote name="zim"]does she have any kids? they could be older than you!

[/quote]

Prospect daughters for next jamming

[quote name="baron von blondle"]
[quote name="Lerzeig Redek"]...And apparently, my beard looks stupid.

[/quote]

that is one step too far. kill her and bury her in the yard.[/quote]

The baron fucking knows. That is an indefensible offense.

Holocaust · Post by **Holocaust** » 28 Aug 2009, 00:50

[quote name="zim"]does she have any kids? they could be older than you!

[/quote]

She has a 12 yr old boy. He's a bookworm and "doesn't like music".

[quote name="baron von blondle"]
[quote name="Lerzeig Redek"]...And apparently, my beard looks stupid.

[/quote]

that is one step too far. kill her and bury her in the yard.[/quote]

That was the last thing she said on a voicemail she left me while I was at work. I think we're done.

Abzu · Post by **Abzu** » 28 Aug 2009, 01:09

Fuck that bitch.

Teignub · Post by **Teignub** » 28 Aug 2009, 03:27

shadowalk · Post by **shadowalk** » 28 Aug 2009, 13:03

[quote name="zim"]this thread is full of awesome[/quote]

Holocaust · Post by **Holocaust** » 28 Aug 2009, 13:43

It appears as if this may work itself out. Supposed to go over and make some hotassfuckingoddamn chicken wings like shadowalk's greatest fear in Louisiana on Saturday and drink a whole bunch of býr. I apologized and she apologized (about the beard blasphemy) and we agreed to hang out all weekend.

We'll come to friendly terms one day soon. Our ages play a big part in our differences of opinion and I would be a fool to think that this dumb shit would last forever.

I WILL put it in her butt this weekend, however.

Thanks for the encouraging thoughts.

[quote name="baron von blondle"]kill her and bury her in the yard.[/quote]

[quote name="abzu"]Fuck that bitch.[/quote]

[quote name="Teignub"]sard[/quote]

[quote name="hafsteinn"]mother id like to shut up[/quote]

ol753 · Post by **ol753** » 28 Aug 2009, 15:02

trip her up and blame it on the dog

if you don't have a dog it'll be funnier

zim · Post by **zim** » 28 Aug 2009, 15:55

archive: the best

shadowalk · Post by **shadowalk** » 28 Aug 2009, 17:53

This thread got me searching for some anal MILF pr0n.

methodrone · Post by **methodrone** » 28 Aug 2009, 18:35

milfs being anal:

"I want you to clean every last inch of your room mister!"

baron von blondle · Post by **baron von blondle** » 28 Aug 2009, 18:38

[quote name="shadowalk"]This thread got me searching for some anal MILF pr0n.

[/quote]

Its a neverending quest

ANGEL OF DESEASE · Post by **ANGEL OF DESEASE** » 28 Aug 2009, 18:54

being single is amazing, cause it allows you to dirt your dick everywhere you want without the problem of feeling guilty, or being beated

Methuselah Honeysuckle · Post by **Methuselah Honeysuckle** » 28 Aug 2009, 19:25

[quote name="ANGEL OF DESEASE"]being single is amazing, cause it allows you to dirt your dick everywhere you want[/quote]

.....best quote ever.

Haunty · Post by **Haunty** » 28 Aug 2009, 21:29

Being in a relationship doesn't seem to stop half of the male population from doing that anyway.

methodrone · Post by **methodrone** » 28 Aug 2009, 21:51

I need to vent i guess.

My girlfriend has to make everything into a drama, f.i today I got a text message

"hey, do you want me to come to your house with pancakes?"

Reply. "sure, thats sounds okay."

Then she calls later and asks if I could take the 1 hour busride to her house to have said the pancake

fiesta, to which I reply "I dont really want to do." Which turns into,

"why do I have to go to your house, dont you love me????? :((("

Because you have a car! god damn it and the pancake thing was your stupid idea to begin with, no one is forcing you to come

shadowalk · Post by **shadowalk** » 28 Aug 2009, 22:39

[quote name="hafsteinn"]I need to vent i guess.

My girlfriend has to make everything into a drama, f.i today I got a text message

"hey, do you want me to come to your house with pancakes?"

Reply. "sure, thats sounds okay."

Then she calls later and asks if I could take the 1 hour busride to her house to have said the pancake

fiesta, to which I reply "I dont really want to do." Which turns into,

"why do I have to go to your house, dont you love me????? :((("

Because you have a car! god damn it and the pancake thing was your stupid idea to begin with, no one is forcing you to come[/quote]

Oh fuck, that sucks dude!

That post reminded me of those nightmare-ish days when I had a girlfriend.

Teresa · Post by **Teresa** » 28 Aug 2009, 23:07

girls are like that sometimes. it happens.

zim · Post by **zim** » 28 Aug 2009, 23:09

while some of us are venting

i can't stand my girlfriend most of the time, she is so boring it makes me mad. and some how we've been dating for 3 years.

she use to call almost 7 times a day with absolutely NOTHING to talk about. and I mean nothing, not even repeating things. she'll stay on the fucking phone when neither of us are saying anything! and she is so sensitive about fucking everything. she started to cry once after i asked her what kind of career she would like to go after.. wtf?

don't know why i've never left her, can't seem to bring myself to do it.

baron von blondle · Post by **baron von blondle** » 28 Aug 2009, 23:11

[quote name="hafsteinn"]I need to vent i guess.

My girlfriend has to make everything into a drama, f.i today I got a text message

"hey, do you want me to come to your house with pancakes?"

Reply. "sure, thats sounds okay."

Then she calls later and asks if I could take the 1 hour busride to her house to have said the pancake

fiesta, to which I reply "I dont really want to do." Which turns into,

"why do I have to go to your house, dont you love me????? :((("

Because you have a car! god damn it and the pancake thing was your stupid idea to begin with, no one is forcing you to come[/quote]

garden, bury, kill.

Teignub · Post by **Teignub** » 29 Aug 2009, 00:39

uhm...sard

Redd · Post by **Redd** » 29 Aug 2009, 00:50

[quote name="zim"]while some of us are venting

i can't stand my girlfriend most of the time, she is so boring it makes me mad. and some how we've been dating for 3 years.

she use to call almost 7 times a day with absolutely NOTHING to talk about. and I mean nothing, not even repeating things. she'll stay on the fucking phone when neither of us are saying anything! and she is so sensitive about fucking everything. she started to cry once after i asked her what kind of career she would like to go after.. wtf?

don't know why i've never left her, can't seem to bring myself to do it.[/quote]

Next time she acts like that, yell at her "I'M ONLY STAYING WITH YOU BECAUSE THE SEX IS GOOD." And if it's not, tell her the sex is shitty and she is boring.

zim · Post by **zim** » 29 Aug 2009, 01:02

i'd rather avoid the drama and just act happy

Haunty · Post by **Haunty** » 29 Aug 2009, 02:04

That's why you DUMP THE CRAZY ONES!!!

zim · Post by **zim** » 29 Aug 2009, 02:40

[quote name="HbW"]That's why you DUMP THE CRAZY ONES!!!

[/quote]

THEY'RE ALL CRAZY!

Redd · Post by **Redd** » 29 Aug 2009, 03:18

Hit it and quit it.

ANGEL OF DESEASE · Post by **ANGEL OF DESEASE** » 29 Aug 2009, 03:25

[quote name="HbW"]Being in a relationship doesn't seem to stop half of the male population from doing that anyway.[/quote]

And more than half of the female population *

Abzu · Post by **Abzu** » 29 Aug 2009, 03:33

[quote name="Redd"]Hit it and quit it.[/quote]

Redd knows.

Wait... what?

zim · Post by **zim** » 29 Aug 2009, 03:48

[quote name="abzu"]Redd knows.

Wait... what?[/quote]

ANGEL OF DESEASE · Post by **ANGEL OF DESEASE** » 29 Aug 2009, 03:58

[quote name="shadowalk"]This thread got me searching for some anal MILF pr0n.

[/quote]

I fucked an ugly milf during holidays

Abzu · Post by **Abzu** » 29 Aug 2009, 07:02

Goddamn Marco I love you.. You are full of awesome.

Threads would be gay and I would eventually sard without you around..