Religious Play

[Redd]

[droidspawn]

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[Verbal]

That just pisses me off because it reminds me that religion and its equivalents exist.



Though I wholeheartedly agree with his methods.

[M.Bison]

[quote name="jorsh"] ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[/quote]

[Verbal]

Nothing is better than the spider email.

[Redd]

[quote name="Skintoxication"]this is almost as good as the infamous insurance/spider e-mail[/quote]



It's from the same hard-on bearer.

[Hugo.]

[quote name="Skintoxication"]this is almost as good as the infamous insurance/spider e-mail[/quote]



Check out his blog. The one where he fails to secure his trash or the foggot one make the spider email look tame.



David Thorne is one of the funniest guys on the net hands down.

[Verbal]

Would you be a dear and post some good ones in this here thread?

[Hugo.]

Honestly johnny if you dont like this youre dead to me.

[captain twat. IV.]

I wish these were real.

[MorbidAngela]

[Abzu]

If I were the cat owner, I would walk over to his cubicle and punch him. Otherwise:

[FUKKET]

[quote name="Verbal"]Nothing is better than the spider email.[/quote]



ah yes, I remember that

[FUKKET]

I didn't know he's a hop!

[FUKKET]

[Verbal]

[quote name="FUKKET"][/quote]

[FUKKET]

[quote name="Verbal"]Nothing is better than the spider email.[/quote]



i also enjoy that lost cat one too

[Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man]

27bslash6‎: Just received client email re banner photo: "Can you photoshop one of the babies black & make the left one asian?" Somebody please kill me.

[supa tuna]

Original ad:

Hello. I am a responsible young professional looking to sublet a studio or 1 br apt in or around East village. I am looking to move in on Mar 15. 2000/mo is my budget. Thans

From Me to **********@********.org:



Hey,



I am leaving for London on business and need to sublet my studio apartment immediately. It is a beautiful spacious apartment in the East Village (near Tompkins Square Park). Rent is $1750/month and you can move in as soon as February 25th. Please let me know if you are interested.



Regards,



Mike



From Ari ****** to Me:



Hi Mike thanks for responding. A few questions: how big is the apt? how long can is the lease til? do you have any pics or a floor plan? I want to move in on mar 15- is that ok?



From Me to Ari ******:



March 15th is fine with me. The apartment is 370 square feet. I don't have any pictures, but I have included a floor plan to give you an idea of the layout of the apartment. The lease is up in November 2011, but you have the option to renew if you wish. Please let me know if you have any more questions about the apartment.



Mike



Attachments:







From Ari ****** to Me:



Mike did you send me the wrong plan or is there really a pool in your apartment.



From Me to Ari ******:



Oh, yes. I should have mentioned the pool. I had an exercise pool installed in the apartment because I was training for a swimming marathon. It is a really nice pool. It is 39 inches deep with powerful jets and a vinyl liner. The pool is great if you like to swim.



Mike



From Ari ****** to Me:



Thats a pretty important thing to forget to mention, doncha think?! It takes up the whole f-ing apartment! How is there no bathroom?? Where am I supposed to shower and sleep?



From Me to Ari ******:



I know, it is a really nice pool. I usually use the kitchen as the bathroom. You can either pee in the sink, or out the gay man's telescope. The gay man's telescope overlooks an alley behind 5th St, and most of the time nobody walks below you. Even if you do piss on someone, you are on the 7th floor so they will probably have no idea where it came from. By the time it hits them, you will most likely be zipped up and have the gay man's telescope shut. The sink has a garbage disposal in case you need to take a dump.



Showering? You don't need to shower - you have a pool! Just go for a swim any time you are trying to wash off.



Sleep? I've got that covered too. I have an extremely comfortable pool raft I sleep on. It is like sleeping on a waterbed! It has a couple of cup holders you can put your phone/keys/beer/whatever in. I'll include this with the apartment for an extra $10.



I am free tomorrow if you want to check the place out and fill out the sublet papers.



Mike



From Ari ****** to Me:



Hmm well yes that does sound nice, but I am looking for a place where I dont have to shit in my sink and sleep in a goddamn pool. Come on man! Good luck finding someone to rent you'll need it!



From Me to Ari ******:



You don't have to shit in the sink, it is just an option. You can also shit out the gay man's telescope, or shit in a bucket next to the gay man's telescope and dump it out the gay man's telescope. There is an Indian restaurant that backs up to the alley, so it already smells like shit down there.



At least come over and try my raft before you decide that sleeping in a pool is a bad thing. I'll even throw in a couple of pool noodles for free.



Mike



From Ari ****** to Me:



Stop trying to sell me your POS apartment, if you can even call it that. You know what makes an apartment an apartment? A bed. Bathroom. Furnature. NOT A FUCKING POOL.



Why am I arguing with you? This is fucking ridiculous. Conversation over.



From Me to Ari ******:



Why are you so afraid of sleeping in this pool? Be honest, do you not know how to swim? If so, I can give you the number of a good lifeguard I know.



From Ari ****** to Me:



Shut the hell up. I hope you drown in your pool!







i can't wait for someone to actually take him up on his offer and come see his apartment or something, haha.

[Hugo.]

[quote name="'zilla"] The pool is great if you like to swim. [/quote]