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Doing it now

does anyone remember the thread about shitting and cumming

I'll never understand people that bring their phones into the bathroom with them.

this happens more often that i would think

Mesarthim wrote: ↑

13 Oct 2021, 18:26

I'll never understand people that bring their phones into the bathroom with them.

For the same reason people used to bring a newspaper or a book with them, dummy.

I never did that either. Guess I’m weird.

Any of that is a recipe for constipation and hemorrhoids.

Oh please. Constipation happens because of a lack of fiber consumption. I recommend Psyllium Husk for better bowel movements.

Noyka wrote: ↑

14 Oct 2021, 10:04

Any of that is a recipe for constipation and hemorrhoids.

That makes zero sense. Gleaso get in here.

Mesarthim wrote: ↑

14 Oct 2021, 10:09

Noyka wrote: ↑

14 Oct 2021, 10:04

Any of that is a recipe for constipation and hemorrhoids.

That makes zero sense. Gleaso get in here.

Is Gleeso an expert on hemorrhoids now?

Grudge wrote: ↑

14 Oct 2021, 10:13

Mesarthim wrote: ↑

14 Oct 2021, 10:09

Noyka wrote: ↑

14 Oct 2021, 10:04

Any of that is a recipe for constipation and hemorrhoids.

That makes zero sense. Gleaso get in here.

Is Gleeso an expert on hemorrhoids now?

Isn’t he an ass specialist?

He should log out of his Bill Clinton account and come here properly to confirm his ass expertise.

wait ... gleeso ... is bill clinton?

you mean, gleeso used to be president of the USA?

but he's irish

So on Saturday I went to Asian Star Buffet for lunch. I ate a couple small plates of food, some soup, and a little bit of dessert.

The next day, I went to the car wash. Afterward, I drove aimlessly through an upscale neighborhood. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Suddenly, the need to take a crap overwhelmed me. I needed to get back to the main road so I could find a business so I could use their bathroom. But a few blocks toward this main road, I realized it was much more urgent. I approached an intersection which would have a pizza place that has a clean bathroom. However, I looked in horror as the road was closed and construction vehicles were parked about the dirt where the road once was. I began to panic.

Off to my left, I saw a church. It was just after noon, on a Sunday. The parking lot was full. Could I find a spot to do my business without anyone seeing? This was an upscale neighborhood full of security cameras and Karens who would call the cops on me if they saw me dropping a deuce. Suddenly an eruption happened and poop filled my drawers and it wouldnt stop. I grimaced my face in embarrassment and shame even though no one could see what had happened. I grabbed a blanket from the backseat to use as a buffer between my jeans and the seat so I wouldnt get turds on my drivers seat. I drove home as the poop continued to flow from my rectum.

At home, I ran to the shower and miraculously none of the shit went down my pants onto the floor. My underwear did an amazing job and I determined my jeans would be fine with a trip through the laundry. The underwear went into the trash. I took a long shower. I think the drain in the shower might be clogged with feces though. I will run some more hot water down it to make sure it is clear. I noticed there were solid pieces of mushrooms in my fecal matter.

i didn't really anticipate starting monday with this story

i once shat in my car too, just once. it was 2018. i was pretty skilled about it though

this was one of my better thread topics

I shit myself while drunk like a decade ago. Pretty sure i made a thread about it. Not one of my proudest moments :/

Grudge wrote: ↑

14 Oct 2021, 10:19

He should log out of his Bill Clinton account and come here properly to confirm his ass expertise.

Its billy crantson

I need to consolidate my shit stories and perhaps put em on youtube. I think the last time I shit myself after passing out was in Spokane Washington. I had seen Slayer on the tail end of the Christ Illusion tour cycle, Summer 2009 at the Knitting Factory. It was the last time I saw them with Jeff Hanneman. I passed out in the car and woke up with shit in my pants. I drove to a homeless shelter and showered off there, disposing of the underwear and track pants in the shower for some worker to clean up. then continued the drive back home to Austin. While I was passing through New Mexico, the AC in my car died. That was a hot summer in Texas.

If you shat yourself and were 100% sober and over the age of 12 there is an adult diaper section find your size please.

I also shit myself while driving a few weeks earlier than the SPokane incident in Seattle. I was driving down Aurora. I was totally unfamiliar with the area. I looked around for a restaurant or something but I couldnt make it and shat myself. I drove to a self serve car wash, sprayed myself off, then left my jeans and underwear in the car wash bay. I drove down the street and stopped. I began to pannnnic as I noticed my wallet was gone. I had left it in my old jeans, and there was 2000 dollars in cash in it. I made these loud noises like if homer simpson was on fire. two mexican guys watched me doing this and started laughing. I sped back to the car wash. Some other hard-on bearer was washing his car in the bay I had used. My jeans were partially stuck under his tire. He watched nervously as I walked without saying anything into his bay, reached down by the tire that pinned down my old jeans, fished the wallet out. I turned around and walked away. What a relief.

i want to clarify i did not shit myself in the car, i managed to shit onto the rubber floor mat, while driving. like i picked it up, put it on the seat and squatted over it, shat onto it, put it on the passenger seat, and continued driving. this was a supermassive traffic jam, that's why i couldn't get out to shit anywhere. i was moving like 10-20 kms per hour the whole time. it was a huge shit and luckily just solid enough to stay on the mat until i got home, perfect crime, no harm done, someone rate my poo story i want to beat brandon

rhino wrote: ↑

28 Oct 2021, 05:31

I shit myself while drunk like a decade ago. Pretty sure i made a thread about it. Not one of my proudest moments :/

you did, i remembered this

User wrote: ↑

28 Oct 2021, 10:04

i want to clarify i did not shit myself in the car, i managed to shit onto the rubber floor mat, while driving. like i picked it up, put it on the seat and squatted over it, shat onto it, put it on the passenger seat, and continued driving. this was a supermassive traffic jam, that's why i couldn't get out to shit anywhere. i was moving like 10-20 kms per hour the whole time. it was a huge shit and luckily just solid enough to stay on the mat until i got home, perfect crime, no harm done, someone rate my poo story i want to beat brandon

the two of you have very different approaches to car-shitting

Luke’s makes sense, thank you for not being a disgusting human being Luke.

Of course luke beat brandon because brandon is one of those fake lame ass trolling acounts

Thanks inram.

User has an interesting story indeed. Rob Halford had a great shit story in his autobiography "Confess". Maybe Ill post it if you guys are nice.

Oh boy

i beat brandon! yeah! here's my trophy for beating brandon

is that a shit you took in a city alley, what is that myanmar food doing to you

I did this in downtown Columbus. The toilet seat had piss on it so I shat the urinal.

why did you take a picture

Because I figured you would like to see it!

David Vincent's book did not have any shit stories. But he did say a certain English dish gave him terrible gas.

Damn!

Damn!

I would like to see brandon do an interview on the soft white underbelly channel

good horse-fucking face right there

Don’t give him ideas Luke!

One time in Austin years ago I shat myself when I was delivering for dominos. Let me find that story, it's a good one

i liked brandon better when he was just a horseporn legend obscured by mabb mist

you can't handle the details

it is a little unnerving learning that people shit themselves as a basic hobby of adulthood

some people consume ridiculous amounts of substances not conducive to bowel control

Sme people need adult diapers…..

a cawfee in the morning is all anyone ought to need. obviates a lot of these unfortunate incidents. very predictable and just the right amount of loss of control