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cool story about me and random british hard-on bearer

Posted: 16 Oct 2009, 11:09
by cat hallucination
so while was being cashier at my dad's grocery store in catholic conservative town nebraska, i once encountered a mid-late aged british gentlemen. the accent gave it away right away. anyway he bought among a few other things, about six or eight golden delicious apples. i accidently punched in the wrong plu code and they rang up to like 45 bucks. for some reason in my "automatic i just want to get the fuck out of there" mode, i didn't notice. but, he did come back later, after also initially not noticing the absurdity, and he confronted me about it. i obviously complied, gave it my best shot at entangling a formal apology and a real sense of humor, and we moved on. this is where i had my first encounter with british humor. his joke was, "i thought these apples were gold plated". and he said it kind of formally yet out of the blue at the same time, ya know, like this mode of expression was ingrained in him. i was dumbstruck. i was insecure, he said it as if there was a certain type of response i should say to such a sweet joke, and i didn't know it!!! so i just awkardly and tensionfully said...uhhh uhhh...ha ya.



the next day i was filling the produce in the scrapple section, and the hard-on bearer appeared. it took a second for me to recognize and put it together who he was, but by then it was to late, and it was besides the point. we were engaged in eye contact and recognition of our past. he mentioned the gold plated joke, i responded similarly to the previous encounter. then he said this, which even more so fucking bogged my mind. he said seemingly out of the blue, but once again seemingly formal, and ithen and even now instantly assumed it was a mode of british humor. or maybe this hard-on bearer had just a lovely and wonderful personality...i dunno. but anyway he said, "you and i have had a lot of good laughs together, haven't we?"...in my mind i was just nervous. how he came off once again the proposition seemed formal, thats what i instantly assumed. i don't remember what i said, but i know it was something once again nervous and awkward. and even more, i'm pretty sure that in the same encounter he repeated both the gold plated and you and i have had a lot of good laughs jokes again.

Re: cool story about me and random british hard-on bearer

Posted: 16 Oct 2009, 11:12
by Grudge
you should have asked him out

Re: cool story about me and random british hard-on bearer

Posted: 16 Oct 2009, 11:14
by cat hallucination
he had white hair. i'm 24. also, i'm not in denial of my bi-curiousity, although i do find it difficult to feel romantic feelings towards a man. and i'm kind of frustrated about it, although its better off that way because it would destroy my family. also, i wish i could truly enjoy sashimi, but it makes me gag!!!



do you have up your sleeve a less tentAtive stab that might actually get to me? i hope so. that one SUCKED!!!!

Re: cool story about me and random british hard-on bearer

Posted: 16 Oct 2009, 13:47
by TamPron
I like sushi

Re: cool story about me and random british hard-on bearer

Posted: 16 Oct 2009, 16:38
by Rob
yehhh, the gold plated joke is pretty widely used here for stuff thats stupidly expensive, but i can't say ive ever tried to reminisce about it with the shopkeep the day after :oldryan:

Re: cool story about me and random british hard-on bearer

Posted: 16 Oct 2009, 16:57
by Hugo.
You should have winked at him, smacked his ass and said ' how do you like those apples?' and then get all 'bi-curious' on him.

Re: cool story about me and random british hard-on bearer

Posted: 16 Oct 2009, 19:40
by Haunty
[quote name="MorbidAngle"]You should have winked at him, smacked his ass and said ' how do you like those apples?' and then get all 'bi-curious' on him.[/quote]

Re: cool story about me and random british hard-on bearer

Posted: 16 Oct 2009, 20:51
by supa tuna
[quote name="HbW"]
[quote name="MorbidAngle"]You should have winked at him, smacked his ass and said ' how do you like those apples?' and then get all 'bi-curious' on him.[/quote][/quote]



and stop bringing up the bi-curious thing every post, we get it, you swing both ways

Re: cool story about me and random british hard-on bearer

Posted: 16 Oct 2009, 22:27
by cat hallucination
[quote name="Rob"]yehhh, the gold plated joke is pretty widely used here for stuff thats stupidly expensive, but i can't say ive ever tried to reminisce about it with the shopkeep the day after :oldryan:[/quote]



its crazy, i don't sense the vast scope of ethnicity on this board when i'm deciphering online personas. if you are as strangely british as that hard-on bearer...whoah.

Re: cool story about me and random british hard-on bearer

Posted: 17 Oct 2009, 01:19
by Rob
he was probably from oop north