I got a phone call yesterday

[Grudge]

This ex-colleague who I worked with in a previous company called me yesterday.





Him: Uhhh, hi, I heard that you help people. So I’m in need of help right now.



Me: Yea what’s the problem? What kind of help do you need?



Him: I need financial help.



Me: What do you need that for?



Him: It’s a life and death situation.



Me: Look, if you need financial help, then I have a right to know what exactly you need it for.



Him: I need to buy a ticket.



Me: A ticket?!



Him: A ticket to France. If I don’t get to France in time, she’ll go off and marry somebody else.



Me: How much does this ticket cost?



Him: $480.



Me: What?! What are you talking about? That’s not what I help people with!! There are people out there unemployed, with bread and butter issues, there are labor issues, and you’re asking me to help you get a plane ticket to France so you can marry some chick?



Him: If she doesn’t marry me, I’ll die.



Me: That stuff happens man! You’ve got to learn to deal with this stuff.



Him: You said yourself that you help people.



Me: I never said I help people with love-romance- relationship issues!



Him: Can’t you help me cover the cost for the ticket even a little bit?



Me: No I can’t. Sorry.



Him: Ok bye.





By the way the hard-on bearer met the chick on the internet, on facebook and never ever met her in real life.

[Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man]

dude, don't you see what a tremendous opportunity you have to manipulate others for your own entertainment?



it fell right into your lap and you fucking rejected it. you stupid fucking asscunt.

[Grudge]

You have no idea what it was like to be in that situation! That phonecall came out of nowhere! I couldn't think fast enough! This is not MSN that you can think out your scheme before you type it!

[Grudge]

I could still call him back. Give me some ideas.

[Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man]

buy him the ticket.



either A) they get married, hilarity inevitably ensues. or B) she rejects him, and hilarity still ensues.



it's pretty simple. bonus points if you can get him stranded at his destination with no money for a return flight

[Grudge]

Wouldn't it be better if I fan his hopes by telling him I'll help him, and then delay that help a lot and in the end back out? That way, I can waste his time. First, I can raise his hopes, and then dash them completely.

[Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man]

boring, not nearly as epic and destructive

[beandorkio]

This is the Imran way:



Say you'll need information about his broad if you're going to assist.



Use that information to create a fake online account (myspace, email, or facebook)



Use that account to contact the fellating lover needing help



Insert mindfuck story here ("that's my ex-fiance you've been speaking to! He pretends to be me! He has me trapped at the top of a tower! I haven't cut my hair in 10 years!")



etc

[Grudge]

[quote name="beandorkio"]This is the Imran way:



Say you'll need information about his broad if you're going to assist.



Use that information to create a fake online account (myspace, email, or facebook)



Use that account to contact the fellating lover needing help



Insert mindfuck story here ("that's my ex-fiance you've been speaking to! He pretends to be me! He has me trapped at the top of a tower! I haven't cut my hair in 10 years!")



etc[/quote]





I like this.



What if we implement your idea, and my idea simultaneously?

[Haunty]

If the hard-on bearer's as pathetic as he is to ask for this kind of thing, you'd better fuck with him. How else is the dude gonna learn. Think about it, you're helping him more this way.





And yes, do implement both bean's and your ideas simultaneously. But a cunning story needs to be cooked up for the internet part. Hmm...

[Holocaust]

You win a prize if you can get the hard-on bearer to kill himself.

[Abzu]

[quote name="Lerzeig Redek"]You win a prize if you can get the hard-on bearer to kill himself. [/quote]

[Charles Bronson]

[quote name="Chaohinon"]buy him the ticket.



either A) they get married, hilarity inevitably ensues. or B) she rejects him, and hilarity still ensues.



it's pretty simple. bonus points if you can get him stranded at his destination with no money for a return flight[/quote]

Yeah but then he'd be out $480 with no prospects of turning a profit.



If he had cash to throw around, I would do that.

[Haunty]

[quote name="Lerzeig Redek"]You win a prize if you can get the hard-on bearer to kill himself. [/quote]



Triple points if he does it in France.

[Grudge]

Maaan, if this had happened a few years ago when I was a jobless bum with too much time on my hands, I would have jumped to the occasion. But with so much on my hands, and so much on my mind these days, I cannot get involved in this bullshit. It would be too stressful. It's a big undertaking you know. It needs planning, focus, effort.

[djonni greazo]

[quote name="ManOfSteel"]Maaan, if this had happened a few years ago when I was a jobless bum with too much time on my hands, I would have jumped to the occasion. But with so much on my hands, and so much on my mind these days, I cannot get involved in this bullshit. It would be too stressful. It's a big undertaking you know. It needs planning, focus, effort.[/quote]



pussy

[beandorkio]

If you successfully game this sucka, I'll go communist for a week

[captain twat. IV.]

Perhaps he was messing with you??

[zim]

pussy

[Haunty]

[quote name="beandorkio"]If you successfully game this sucka, I'll go communist for a week[/quote]



THE PROLETARIAT!! THE PROLETARIAT!!

[TamPron]