An MABB Choose Your Own Adventure story
Posted: 29 May 2011, 08:57
You sign in to the MABB. There are new posts in Free Discussion and Music. Which do you look at?
To visit Free Discussion, go to 1
To visit Music, go to 2
1
You click on Free Discussion and discover that AOD has made a thread. The title makes very little sense, but from what you can decipher he's angry about something. You suspect he was drunk when he made it. Gleeso has also made a thread.
To click on AOD's thread, go to 3
To click on Gleeso's thread, go to 4
2
Upon entering Music, you're bombarded with threads with titles based around the "Hey Ryan" theme. Nestled amongst them is a thread about your favourite band, but it's been made by Stormy! He hates your favourite band and will no doubt be informing people of this within. You have to decide:
If you enter the thread to defend your favourite band, go to 5
If you enter the newest "Hey Ryan" thread, go to 6
3
AOD is clearly furious! This is made clear by the amount of angry smilies he's used. You read what he's written. From what you can work out, he is annoyed about an event involving a woman which happened earlier in the day. Alcool was involved, which he reassures you was "jammed as a cunt". He continues by informing you that the woman was a bitch with a fishbox that he now sards. You're more confused than ever, but you have to post something. You assess your options:
If you find something in AOD's post to use for your signature, go to 7
If you post a song from Youtube which you feel relates to this situation, go to 8
4
You click on the Gleeso thread and before it's even loaded, you realise what you've done. You passed up an AOD drunk thread for this. Your life flashes before your eyes, all the moments that made you the person you are today run through your head in a fraction of a second. You wish they were all different and that they hadn't created this horrible abomination your mother calls her child. You walk away from your computer, leave your home and throw yourself under a train. You die instantly. THE END.
5
You debate the merits of the band with Stormy for a while, but then the thread takes an unexpected turn. Suddenly and without any warning, a million voices cry out as one. You wade through them, desperate to learn what they have to say. After an hour of scrolling down, you reach the nucleus of this vocal symphony. Their message is "i meh at flac". You join them in mehing at flac and eventually die from hysterical pregnancy or some shit like that. THE END.
6
You enter the thread and find that it's a Goo Goo Dolls song. Physically repulsed, you exit the thread rapidly, grow a set and head off to confront Stormy.
GO TO 5
7
You scan AOD's post and settle on the phrase "women are like a garage for the penis car". You post in the thread stating your intention to claim it. However, at exactly the same time, Nick was posting that he was taking that phrase for his signature! You see only two ways this can play out:
To engage in a verbal sparring contest with Nick, go to 9
To lament not getting there quicker, go to 10
8
You decide to post "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M in an attempt to be funny. Unfortunately, you post the Avril Lavigne song of the same name and are deemed a massive salad bar. You leave the board having dishonoured your family name. You go on eBay, purchase a samurai sword and commit seppuku when it arrives. THE END.
9
You create a thread specifically for your showdown with Nick and await his reply. Eventually it comes and the two of you go back and forth for hours. Soon the thread is 10 pages in length, each one filled....with comedy gold! The original meaning of the thread gives way to quotes followed by
smiles. The thread is soon moved to Archive: The Good, where it will live forever. Your work is done. Congratulations! THE END
10
You are about to click the Submit button on your post when the room fills with an eerie light. You hear a deep rumble which seems to be coming from all around you. You try to leave, but the door slams shut on its own! The rumble gets louder as the light recedes into a column roughly four feet in diameter. The light grows in intensity and the rumble becomes almost deafening. You cover your ears and curl up on the floor, wondering if this ordeal will ever be over. You open one eye and look towards the column of light. You recoil in horror and scramble to the corner of the room, as standing in the column of light is NDMG! The rumble seems to clear and becomes the Karmablade song "Brockemoth". You consider praying to God to save you, but no one, not even the ref, can save you now. NDMG slowly raises an arm and points at you. "GARBAGE CREATURE! DUMB SHEEP salad bar!" he says. What remained of your sanity deserts you and you are reduced to a gibbering wreck. And as quickly as it started, the room returned to normality. Brockemoth faded and the column of light collapsed in upon itself until it was gone. All that's left is you, lying in a pool of your own piss, shit and vomit, a broken human being. Bad luck. THE END
To visit Free Discussion, go to 1
To visit Music, go to 2
1
You click on Free Discussion and discover that AOD has made a thread. The title makes very little sense, but from what you can decipher he's angry about something. You suspect he was drunk when he made it. Gleeso has also made a thread.
To click on AOD's thread, go to 3
To click on Gleeso's thread, go to 4
2
Upon entering Music, you're bombarded with threads with titles based around the "Hey Ryan" theme. Nestled amongst them is a thread about your favourite band, but it's been made by Stormy! He hates your favourite band and will no doubt be informing people of this within. You have to decide:
If you enter the thread to defend your favourite band, go to 5
If you enter the newest "Hey Ryan" thread, go to 6
3
AOD is clearly furious! This is made clear by the amount of angry smilies he's used. You read what he's written. From what you can work out, he is annoyed about an event involving a woman which happened earlier in the day. Alcool was involved, which he reassures you was "jammed as a cunt". He continues by informing you that the woman was a bitch with a fishbox that he now sards. You're more confused than ever, but you have to post something. You assess your options:
If you find something in AOD's post to use for your signature, go to 7
If you post a song from Youtube which you feel relates to this situation, go to 8
4
You click on the Gleeso thread and before it's even loaded, you realise what you've done. You passed up an AOD drunk thread for this. Your life flashes before your eyes, all the moments that made you the person you are today run through your head in a fraction of a second. You wish they were all different and that they hadn't created this horrible abomination your mother calls her child. You walk away from your computer, leave your home and throw yourself under a train. You die instantly. THE END.
5
You debate the merits of the band with Stormy for a while, but then the thread takes an unexpected turn. Suddenly and without any warning, a million voices cry out as one. You wade through them, desperate to learn what they have to say. After an hour of scrolling down, you reach the nucleus of this vocal symphony. Their message is "i meh at flac". You join them in mehing at flac and eventually die from hysterical pregnancy or some shit like that. THE END.
6
You enter the thread and find that it's a Goo Goo Dolls song. Physically repulsed, you exit the thread rapidly, grow a set and head off to confront Stormy.
GO TO 5
7
You scan AOD's post and settle on the phrase "women are like a garage for the penis car". You post in the thread stating your intention to claim it. However, at exactly the same time, Nick was posting that he was taking that phrase for his signature! You see only two ways this can play out:
To engage in a verbal sparring contest with Nick, go to 9
To lament not getting there quicker, go to 10
8
You decide to post "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M in an attempt to be funny. Unfortunately, you post the Avril Lavigne song of the same name and are deemed a massive salad bar. You leave the board having dishonoured your family name. You go on eBay, purchase a samurai sword and commit seppuku when it arrives. THE END.
9
You create a thread specifically for your showdown with Nick and await his reply. Eventually it comes and the two of you go back and forth for hours. Soon the thread is 10 pages in length, each one filled....with comedy gold! The original meaning of the thread gives way to quotes followed by
smiles. The thread is soon moved to Archive: The Good, where it will live forever. Your work is done. Congratulations! THE END10
You are about to click the Submit button on your post when the room fills with an eerie light. You hear a deep rumble which seems to be coming from all around you. You try to leave, but the door slams shut on its own! The rumble gets louder as the light recedes into a column roughly four feet in diameter. The light grows in intensity and the rumble becomes almost deafening. You cover your ears and curl up on the floor, wondering if this ordeal will ever be over. You open one eye and look towards the column of light. You recoil in horror and scramble to the corner of the room, as standing in the column of light is NDMG! The rumble seems to clear and becomes the Karmablade song "Brockemoth". You consider praying to God to save you, but no one, not even the ref, can save you now. NDMG slowly raises an arm and points at you. "GARBAGE CREATURE! DUMB SHEEP salad bar!" he says. What remained of your sanity deserts you and you are reduced to a gibbering wreck. And as quickly as it started, the room returned to normality. Brockemoth faded and the column of light collapsed in upon itself until it was gone. All that's left is you, lying in a pool of your own piss, shit and vomit, a broken human being. Bad luck. THE END
If this proves to be popular, I might do another one in the future
